DEBATES MEN HAVE: Her Place or Mine

It happens to the best of us. Whether we’re on a date or we just met for the first time that night, most men will, if they haven’t already, come face to face with one of life’s biggest decisions:

Should I go to her place or let her come to mine?

Now, before I get into the debate and weigh the pros and cons of both, let’s establish some criteria so we don’t get caught up in semantics.

• The woman and I live equal distance away from their current location.
• We live alone or our places are empty for the weekend; no parents*, no** roommates, no children***.
• Both of us have our own form of transportation so we’ll be following one another. If we don’t have cars (in kampala City this is common) we can cab it together.
• Neither of us are busy the next day.

With those things established, we can now get down to the nitty gritty of the topic, which basically comes down to this: Where do I prefer the action to take place?

HER PLACE

PROS: There is a strange but fulfilling feeling I get when I leave a woman’s place that I don’t get when she leaves my place.  If I don’t feel like staying around after we’ve blessed the sheets, I can just get dressed and make moves no matter how late it is. And having that ability makes me feel like I had control of the situation all along, even if that wasn’t necessarily the case.

CONS: Some men don’t care, but for me, there are few bigger turn-offs than a woman with a messy place. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem doing the grown-up on a pile of a laundry, but once the show’s over, I pray the clothes are clean, and if they’re not, I’m gone. I’ll just wash up at my place. Thanks.

MY PLACE

PROS: Three words: Home. Field. Advantage. For some reason, I’m always better in my bed than her bed, at least in the beginning. I also know where everything is, and more importantly, everything I need is within arms reach. Few things are as liberating as not only knowing where the condoms are but also not being at the mercy of the woman’s stash of condoms she picked up from the local Planned Parenthood.

CONS: I’ve let women leave in the middle of the night and I’ll be honest, it’s not something I’m proud of, even if they’ve volunteered to leave themselves. Every man has at least one particular code of chivalry they abide by no matter the circumstances, and for me, I always let a woman ride it out until the night turns to day. Unfortunately, if they want to stay and they’re annoying me, I’m all types of pissed off until sunrise and I will never call them again.

I’m also uncomfortable with the idea of a woman knowing where I live. If they’re intoxicated they might not remember, but if they do remember, and they actually committed the location of my residence to memory, she probably has stalker tendencies.

FINAL CHOICE

HER PLACE

I may perform better in my own bed, but my road record is good enough where I’ll take my chances. Where I live and how I live where I live is not a top secret government location, but it is personal.

The other thing is, control. At my place, I’m in control of my environment but not necessarily in control of the person who’s in my environment. At her place, she’s in control of the environment, but I’m in control of me, which means I can leave when I want. I just hope she didn’t get her condoms from the Planned Parenthood.

What do you all think?

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*No, I don’t live with my parents

**No, I don’t have roommates

***No, I don’t have children.