Name Brand Purses and women

I avoid approaching women carrying name brand purses. Let me rephrase, if at all possible, I avoid approaching women carrying name brand purses. This means if I see two equally attractive women or even if one woman is more attractive than the other but one is holding a name brand purse and the other is not, I will approach the purse-less woman.
While I know a number of women are already offended, this is not an attack on women who like name brand purses. I don’t know you like that. I feel like my preference is no different than women who prefer taller men. There is nothing wrong with short men (I think) you just prefer to date taller men. The whole point of having preferences is to discriminate based on what are often superficial attributes that over the years you have grown to prefer or learned to avoid. Such is life. Contrary to your kids’ summer sports leagues where everyone gets a trophy, in real life, we can’t all be winners.
Due to a couple personal experiences in my lifetime, I am a little bit  more money conscious than the average man. It’s not that I can’t afford nice things, I can. I make what I would describe as decent money. I’m not rich. I’m not poor. I, however, have learned to know my limitations when it comes to the women I date.
Back in the day,  I know of a friend  who was often the best-dressed guy in the club. Unfortunately, he was often the brokest guy in the club, too. he  looked good as hell but if you wanted him to buy you a drink – which he didn’t do anyway but let’s say he did – you would have been s*** out of luck. he was living check to check, yet he was always able to find enough money to get into the club with a brand new outfit. His priorities were messed up and he wasn’t alone; so were those of the women he dated. Too often, the two were more concerned with looking like we had money than actually accumulating money. We felt overwhelmingly compelled to look rich instead of trying to be rich. Technically, there is nothing wrong with this life style.
But, it is not the life for me
I still spend my money on frivolous items from time to time but I am a lot more financially aware than then. I am also far more concerned with reality rather than perception. I prefer to have money than look like I have money.
As such, I have grown to avoid the name brand purse carrying women of the world. In my experience, a good percentage of these women are more concerned with living the lifestyle of my former perspective than my current. There is no judgment on my part. If you like it and it makes you happy, I love it. More power to you. However, you are likely not the woman for me. I know this is superficial, stereotypical even, but it is what it is so I have no plans to apologize.
As a side note: I judge the woman’s purse because I can generally tell if a purse at least looks expensive. I know nothing about women’s shoes and clothes – they all look the same to me. I know I’m not always going to approach a woman with a purse and even if I do or do not it doesn’t tell me how materialistic or high maintenance she is or is not but it does help narrow down the field. If I miss out on a perfectly good woman because of this standard that will just have to be the way the cards fall.
Like most men, I prefer my life to be as simple and stress free as possible sans the occasional crazy girl that I will date from time to time to spice things up. Therefore, if I can, I will avoid the woman who would rather spend all our money buying out the mall in lieu of paying our bills. So yes, if you would rather spend my/our money on a $500+ purse or shoes or both, when you have credit, school loan, or general debt outstanding, you are likely not the woman for me. This is simply a lesson I have learned over the years, no more, no less. Finding a woman who is more financially aligned with my thinking is simply easier to get along with on a day-to-day basis. This is not to say I could not be with a woman who prefers to purchase the finer things in life rather than maintain a savings account for unforeseen expenses but if it’s up to me, avoid her I will.
Of course, I recognize that to a degree I can’t help who I fall in Love with. If I fall in Love with a name brand obsessed woman, then so be it. I will adjust accordingly. I am actually of the mindset that as long as the bills are paid, my woman can do whatever the hell she wants with the rest of the money (disposable income). This is a true story. You can ask any woman that has seriously dated me. Even when I was broke as hell, what was mine was hers and what was hers was hers.
The main difference between now and young me  is that beforehand I would live outside of my means to make a woman I was with happy; whereas presently, if you are not happy with the money I make you have three options: 1) Get over it. 2) Get a job. 3) Get another man.
For all my hard work, I would prefer to have money in the bank than a brand name purse draped on your arm. I will even go further to say I don’t expect my girlfriend/wife to work as long as she doesn’t expect me to slave day and night to satisfy her wants when her needs are already sufficiently addressed.

It’s not a game

I’m tired of playing games, Why do I have to play these games, Men play too many games.These are all catch phrases I hear from various single women I know. They refuse to play all of them! The younger generation doesn’t know how and the older generation been through so much they’ve thrown in the towel.  Let me say this.  These games you think  are being played on YOU are not games at all. It’s called survival and it’s natural for us to be this way. It’s part of the process. If you don’t get with it YOU will be LEFT behind.
EVERY MAN has been through at least ONE BAAAD relationship that will dictate his dating style. The dude that’s been cheated on will most likely become the boyfriend that cheats or the boyfriend that smothers or worse  BOTH.  I think it’s a little different for women. Their dating style is somehow derived from their childhood. The little girls that watched their mothers use their cookie to get some goodies will eventually do the same thing. The ones that watched their daddy leave or have no daddy at all will usually date dudes waaaay older than them.
I could go on with my analysis but that would require another 250 pages. Ladies start paying attention. Stop looking at your love life like it’s an outer body experience. If your new prospect does something that gives you pause you best believe it’s not a dream. Don’t stand their scratching your head thinking ” This nigga is playing games” NO he’s doing what his last couple of relationships allowed him to do. It’s not a game to him it’s survival. Counteracting his bullshit is not you participating its you surviving in this race for love.
I know it’s  damn near impossible to find a black man of your own never mind a good black man cause the only one left is in the White House…lol  But if you’re gonna pursue JUST them you better develop some IRON MAN armor and treat every interaction as a learning experience and not like THIS COULD BE THE ONE!    If ole boy does something suspect don’t yell, don’t scream process what it is first then if you know its something you can’t live with ” POOF”  disappear, fade to black, in other words do what we do.
Remember a man’s actions especially a black man  are not STUPID  they’re DELIBERATE.

What If I Were a Girl?

“Okay, weird title aside, the thought crossed my mind the other evening as I was waiting for the taxi on the way home. I was standing along the road, staring towards the traffic in hopes of seeing a voice signaling my direction the coming of the next taxi. As I was doing this, a woman started walking towards me and the first thing I noticed was her chest. It’s not that I wanted to look at them (instead of her hips), but her coat was wide open, revealing an exquisite and extremely perky pair. 


I’m a guy, sue me. 


Anyway, I tend to study people during my travels, taking note of their body language, mannerisms and what it means (or what I think it means). As soon as this woman and I locked eyes (or her eyes locked in on my eyes on her headlights), her head tilted to the right and I shifted my vision to the right as well (we’re facing each other so my right is her left and vice versa). I see this kind of body language from women all the time on the street when they enter the proximity of a man or a group of men, and I have my theories as to what it means.


Let’s say for instance, a sister is walking down the block and way on the other corner she sees two men walking in her direction, she’s likely to do one of two things: 

• A) Cross the street to avoid any catcalls, unwanted hand/arm grabs or lustful stares. 
• B) She continues on her path but either looks down towards the pavement or to the side as she passes the man/men, avoiding all forms of eye contact. But as soon as she passes the men, her head and vision returns to its regular face-forward position. It never fails. 

The reasons for why she’d cross the street is pretty obvious, so there’s no point going into it. (Just for the slow folks, though, she’s not interested, buddy, so keep it moving’). 


Now, my interpretation of the second option is as follows: Looking down at the ground signifies that a woman is totally and utterly not interested in the man/men she is approaching. So much so that she would rather look down at the blackened gum and sh*t stains on the street than give you an inkling that she is in any way, shape or form interested in striking up a conversation with you. Damn, that’s kind of cold, but, fellas, you have to read the signs.  


Now, a woman looking to the side (in my humble opinion), however, is a little more promising. The fact she’s leaving a slight chance at some peripheral eye contact in this positioning bodes slightly better for your holleration factor (not that I ever do such things). Also, there’s a chance of her appearing sexier by giving you her side profile. Having her head up also exudes a tad more confidence. Does she want you to holler in this situation? Hell if I know, but the lane is more open. At least that’s my interpretation of the body language.  


Now if that was a little hard to follow, here are some footnotes to remember: “Eyes to the side, she ain’t trying to hide, but eyes to the ground, you going to get shot down.” 


Now how does all of this relate to the title of this blog and the idea of if I were a girl? I know it’s a scary thought, because while I make a moderately striking man I’d probably make an atrocious looking female. The point of all this, however, is that if I were in fact an Double Xer (aka a XX chromosome carrier of the species) I’d know for sure if the above theories about female body language were true.  


But I’m just a regular guy so I resorted to having a few honest conversations with my female friends and I think I understand a little bit better why women do the things they do. Fellas, could you imagine having to over-analyze what you wear every time you stepped out the door for fear of attracting too much male attention? I know most women do the sweater around their waist thing not because their waist is cold or they need a place to store their top, but to cover up their ass from our prying eyes. (Doesn’t really matter, though, men are still going to use their X-ray imagination to see what lies below). 


I also understand that most women feel some sort of anxiety when approaching a group of men and rightfully so given the penchant for inappropriate behavior and comments by some members of the booty hawkin’ brotherhood like THIS.  I also know that ladies get annoyed at men staring at their chest 98.3% of the day. So if I were a girl I guess all that would piss me off as well and I’d be the one looking down on the ground or crossing the street at the sight of a any penis carrying member of the species. But I’m not a girl, a woman, a chick or even a boy for that matter, I’m a man—now just imagine if more guys were, too?”