Mr.Potential

I remember being somewhat shy back in the day. Couldn't formulate those slick pick up lines my boys spit out by the dozen. I pretty much depended on my powers of persuasion and observation. Observe the gal from afar, find out her likes and dislikes, befriend then convince her I was the best thing since sliced bread…lol
As I got older my understanding of the opposite sex grew as did my confidence so I didn't have to resort to those Jedi mind tricks too often. I also stayed in my lane. Pretty quiet gals that flew under the radar was my thing. Ya know the kind. Cute enough to try out for the cheer leading team but would rather hang out in the library reading books their parents told them not to read. Yo boy "O" did not waste time chasing chicks that were out of his league. Why? Cause I knew it would damage my ego and kill my confidence besides I wasn't ready for that kind of pressure. You need a certain level of confidence/patience to deal with a beautiful woman.
Fast Forward to today and I’m still trying to explain this kind of logic to these Young Cats I mentor from time to time. The biggest offender of the “SHE GOTTA BE FINE FINE FINE” law is my boy Mr.Potential. He’s intelligent, articulate, but a little average looking. His style of dress can be a little extra, but he likes it so who am I to tell him otherwise. This dude has probably chased soooooo many BLACK women OUT of his league that it’s soured him against them. I read a text from Mr.Potential about two weeks ago stating “Black women don’t know what a good man is so I’m no longer gonna date them. The choices they make for themselves are fucked up” I contemplated what he said and yeah some black women do make dumb ass moves based on emotion instead of good common sense. They’re drawn to these thuggish ruggish types because it makes them feel safe and protected. For others it might be the excitement, but when feeling safe and protected turns into ” This nigga just tried to choke me!” and excitement turns into ” ” they realize a guy like Mr.Potential may not be such a bad idea.
What Mr.Potential fails to realize is that it takes time for Black women to get to this place. So if he continues to chase young video vixens chances are she’s not looking for a Mr.Potential. Now don’t get me wrong this doesn’t mean he still can’t try. He can but he’s gonna have to elevate his game just a little bit. Mr Potential will have to get into the psychology of dating and start doing things The THUG NATION population won’t do. Nice inexpensive restaurants, free live music in the park, and trips to the museum are great ways to convince a Pretty gal that you’re not the average "O". I remember taking a beautiful CAMPUS Graduate to the Zoo. She loved it because it was something she hadn’t done with a guy before. Till this day she doesn’t know I was actually broke , didn’t want to break our date, but knew the Zoo was Free on Wednesdays so I took a chance with only 20k  in my pocket. Which I cashed in for some COMPS…lol
Mr.Potential. A little creativity and patience will go a loooooong way with that beautiful Nubian sista you have your eye on. Don’t let a few mishaps turn you away from them. Some black women have yet to find their way, but they will if YOU promise to lead them in the RIGHT DIRECTION.

It’s not a game

I’m tired of playing games, Why do I have to play these games, Men play too many games.These are all catch phrases I hear from various single women I know. They refuse to play all of them! The younger generation doesn’t know how and the older generation been through so much they’ve thrown in the towel.  Let me say this.  These games you think  are being played on YOU are not games at all. It’s called survival and it’s natural for us to be this way. It’s part of the process. If you don’t get with it YOU will be LEFT behind.
EVERY MAN has been through at least ONE BAAAD relationship that will dictate his dating style. The dude that’s been cheated on will most likely become the boyfriend that cheats or the boyfriend that smothers or worse  BOTH.  I think it’s a little different for women. Their dating style is somehow derived from their childhood. The little girls that watched their mothers use their cookie to get some goodies will eventually do the same thing. The ones that watched their daddy leave or have no daddy at all will usually date dudes waaaay older than them.
I could go on with my analysis but that would require another 250 pages. Ladies start paying attention. Stop looking at your love life like it’s an outer body experience. If your new prospect does something that gives you pause you best believe it’s not a dream. Don’t stand their scratching your head thinking ” This nigga is playing games” NO he’s doing what his last couple of relationships allowed him to do. It’s not a game to him it’s survival. Counteracting his bullshit is not you participating its you surviving in this race for love.
I know it’s  damn near impossible to find a black man of your own never mind a good black man cause the only one left is in the White House…lol  But if you’re gonna pursue JUST them you better develop some IRON MAN armor and treat every interaction as a learning experience and not like THIS COULD BE THE ONE!    If ole boy does something suspect don’t yell, don’t scream process what it is first then if you know its something you can’t live with ” POOF”  disappear, fade to black, in other words do what we do.
Remember a man’s actions especially a black man  are not STUPID  they’re DELIBERATE.